Bed
by lupin and black
Summary: Sam thinks about the bed situation. DeanSam
1. Chapter 1

Bed

They don't sleep in the same bed. Not any more. Not for years. After everything is done Sam lays sticky and hot beneath the sheets eyes closed. He can feel Dean pull away retract into his own space. He slips out the bed naked moving toward the other side of the motel room. Sam hears Dean's mumbled curses as he hit his shine on the way to the other bed. It wasn't always like this. There was a time when Sam could curl into Dean, rest his head in the spot between neck and shoulder. Dean hand heavy on his hip. Things changed. A touch searching scorching, a kiss bruising brief the fuck fast aching desperate, a hot press of lips slick and wet against the side of his neck than Dean is gone. He would stay if Sam asked him to. Sam never asked not for years.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sam was young right after the incident lost of mother he couldn't sleep throw the night. He would wake wailing missing a mom he was already starting to forget. Dean would sneak in to his room climbed into Sam crib wrapping himself around his baby brother rubbing his stomach till he fell back in to a dreamless sleep. Dean would pull the covers around them and hold Sam till morning light. Sam doesn't remember this.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N These drabbles are going in no real order. I just write them as they come. I might re-post them later in chronological order.

This one isn't really a drabble its kind of long compared to the other two. Enjoy. Please review! Thanx

Bed 3

It started simple enough. On a night too hot for the layers of clothes to separate them. Sam was still young, old enough to know what he wanted. Young enough to not understand what that _want_ meet beyond touch. Dad was missing he'd been gone for two days. Sam wasn't worried because Dean wasn't worried. He was still young enough to believe Dean could control the world, nothing bad would happen because Dean wouldn't let it happen, he hide this belief a lot better now than years past.

They lay under the cover side by side, dad's bed vacant and lost on the other side of the musty motel room. The air was heavy with the smell of them. They had been at this for over an hour. Dean hand was warped firmly around his dick, his other hand clutching Sam's between loose fingers. Sam lent in closer pressing his face against Dean neck, inhaling the thick smell of his brother. It was always the best this way, Dean hands moving in long thick strokes, Sam breath coming in soft whimpers. Dean liked it best when he could hear Sam's whimper. He tugged on his own dick with one hand, fingers moving rapidly on Sam's with the other. In an instant it was over ,Sam came hard wet mouth sucking hard on Dean neck, it was enough.

When it was over Dean pulled away. He lay on his side for a moment watching Sam breath. He stood suddenly pulling a mumbled question from Sam, who lay sprawled out on his back eyes closed the sheet tangled about his legs. Running a hand throw messy hair Dean walked to the bathroom in search of a wash cloth. When he came back Sam was already drifting off. Dean stood at the head of the bed watching Sam fall into sleep. Squatted down beside the bed he reached forward to run fingers throw too long shaggy brown hair. His hand moved lower tracing shallow eyelids, a long nose, soft mouth, stubborn chin. The baby fat was melting away leaving behind a slick lean face Dean hardly recognized. His movement stopped hand resting against Sam neck. His pulse beat strong and soothing under Dean's hand, he moved the wash cloth down over Sam's stomach wiping away the last trace of them. For two nights his brother had belonged to him. Tomorrow would bring change. Dad would be back and they would be on the move. Dropping the wash cloth on the floor, Dean kissed his brother smooth cheek and cross the room to the other bed. Throwing himself in to the cool sheets of his father's empty motel bed, he pulled the covers around himself and slept.

The next morning was the first time Sam could remember waking up alone. Dean was still sprawled out asleep on dad's empty bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam was getting use to waking up in an empty bed. There had been a time when an empty bed meant Dean was in the bathroom, he would soon be back. Than it had become the norm to roll into a space that had once held a warm body and know he would not be coming back. Than there had been acceptant. He sleep alone spreading his legs wide, stretching his arms out to make up for the lack of person. Than there had been Jess. She never fit in the spaces the way Dean did. She had her own space to fill. Curled against Sam, she fit near perfect. And than she too was gone. It was a shock returning to unfilled spaces.

Sam rolled into the vacant space Dean had left behind. It was still warm from his heat. If he opened his eyes, turned his head to the left, he would see his brother stretched out on the worn motel mattress, arm slung over his eyes. Sam could reach across the space rest his hand on Dean's wrist. He could call Dean's name. Dean would drop his arm, turn his head to the side, look at Sam with that half annoyed, half concerned look he reserved for late nights. Sam would whisper his name. Dean would crawl in next to Sam, warp his arm around Sam's waist. His breath would be warm, constant against Sam's shoulder. He would come if Sam asked. Sam wouldn't ask.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam lay stretched out on the motel bed, long legs dangling over the side. The gleam from the sun scratched at the back of his eyelids. It was early still hours of sun left. Still time to be moving. After the second time Sam throw up, Dean pulled over and cheek them into the first hotel he found. He dumped Sam on the bed and left in search of something to eat.

The visions had slowed down for awhile. They're back. First the tug inside him, stretching him, making things taut, stretched, impossibly open. He rolls on to his side trying to move out of the sun's path.

The door to the room opens, closes so softly he almost misses the click. Than it is wonderfully dark. He couldn't hear Dean move around the room but he felt him. Felt the bed dip under his added weight. Felt his hand merciful cool against his forehead .Felt the brush of his leather jacket as he moves his hand away. Sam wants to go with the hand didn't want it to leave. His head hurt too much to move, throat to tight to speak. The bed shifts with Dean's movement. Sam bit his lip to keep from make a sound as his brain jumps around his skull. Dean hears him anyway. He curses under his breath, the shifting stops. Than his hand is back, cool and rough against Sam's cheek.

"You okay there Sammy."

Sam grunts a response. Dean chuckles. Sam felt something cool against his mouth. Opens his lips, an ice cube slips over his tongue wonderfully wet... Dean fingers in his hair pushing the damp locks back off his forehead. He still to warm the room … stifling … Dean's fingers feel nice.

"Go to sleep Sammy I aint going no where."

Sam wants to open his eyes, wants to see Dean, to say something. Instead he let himself drift away to the feeling of Dean's hand moving in his hair.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean like to watch Sam sleep. Sam could always feel his gaze across the space of two beds, eyes focused memorizing. He'd been doing it all of Sam's life, watching. As if he had always been afraid Sam would leave him and all he would have was what he could get stuck in his brain.

Sam never realized how much Dean watched him till he left. His first six months at college where filled with a feeling of misplacement. He could never decipher what he was missing. Until the night Dean snuck into his dorm room.

He woke to find Dean sitting at the end of his bed, watching. His roommate woke up two second later and screamed. Sam throw a pillow at his head and explained in as few words as possible that Dean was his brother. Dean stretched out on his bed, eyebrow arched, smirk in place, offering up no explanation for his presence.

Dean spent the day dogging Sam's footsteps. He fell asleep in Sam's physic class, jerking awake when Sam shoved him out the seat. He got in a rowdy fight with the professor in Sam's political science class that left the lecture hall in silences. When class was over the professor left the room smiling, his eyes watching Dean in a way that made Sam sick He flirted shamelessly with half of Sam study group, blatantly ignored the other half. He was rude in his blunt way and charming in his boyish manner. By the time they left the room, half the group was in love with Dean the other half seemed to be in a state of shock. After prolong exposure, Dean tended to do that to people. Throw it all Sam felt that steady gaze return to him.

He went to sleep that night with Dean stretched out next to him. He awoke hours later alone, tangled in the damp sheets with an immense feeling of longing lodged in his throat. He missed the weight of Dean's gaze.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N There will be a few more of these. I'm thinking of ending it at ten. Thanx for reading. Reviews good or bad are always welcomed. Peace

It wasn't as hard to come back as it was to leave. The first four months where the worst. Sam spent a lot of time not sleeping, Dean spent a lot of time driving. It was constant movement for four months. Sam slept fitfully in the passenger seat while Dean drove. It wasn't really sleeping just closed eyes, hunting visions. Every once in awhile Dean would stretch out in the back seat for a few hours, nod off a bit before coming back to claim the wheel.

After four months of occasional motel stops Dean started renting rooms first twice a week, than every other night, till Sam realize he was spending most nights in a bed. It didn't help him sleep longer but it gave him more space to toss about in.

He never really asked Dean to start touching him again.

They where in a rundown motel in Wisconsin. They had been in town for two weeks and had nothing to show for it. Sam sat on the edge of the bed watching Dean talk, his brow wrinkled in confusion, his mouth set in a pout. They where getting nowhere with this case. People where dying. The case was getting to him. Dean would never admit it. It wasn't in Dean to admit weakness. Sam saw it anyway. Saw it in the slouch of his shoulder, the weariness in his eyes, the throb of pain that seem to pour form him. Dean felt things deep. He saw more, felt more than he ever let on. It took Sam years to realize other people didn't see that about Dean. They took him at face value. It had been years since Sam took Dean at anything but face value.

He sat and watched his brother. Dean looked up eyes forced on Sam. He arched a brow in question. Sam reached across the space and kissed him, soft, brief. Dean grabbed him behind the neck and pulled him in for another clash of lips. It escalated. It always did. Sam ended up on his back leg throw over Dean's shoulder, Dean moving slick and hard inside him. He came first exploding over his belly. Dean keep going, eyes closed tight, lips parted, face intense in it focus. His pace soared to a frantic velocity, than he was bursting hard and sticky inside Sam.

When it was over Sam rolled on to his side. Dean ran a hand throw his hair, kissed the top of his head the way he hadn't done in what felt like years. He waited till Sam fell asleep before crossing the room and stretching out in his own narrow motel bed.

Sam sleep a full 8 hours. He awoke rested and sore. He felt Dean with ever stretch of his body. He knew with out opening his eyes the room was empty. He smiled in to the pillow and drifted till Dean came back, banging open the door, let it slam shut behind him as he screamed for Sam to get his bitch ass out of bed. Sam pushed back the cover and motioned for Dean to come closer. He came, frown in place, worry evident in his eyes. Sam reached out for him pulling him into the bed. He came willing warping Sam in a tight hug his breath warm against Sam's neck his clothes ruff against Sam's naked skin. They lay there for a moment holding and being held.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N okay this one is short and I'm not to happy with it but here it is anyway.

They slept in the same bed till Sam was 14. When they were little it was for convenient and Sam wouldn't sleep if Dean wasn't with him. By the time he was ten it was only for the convenient. Sam had long grown past the stage where he needed Dean to guard him as he slept. By the time he was 12 it seem silly to still be sharing a bed but he said nothing and Dean could still be found drooling on the pillow inches from Sam's head.

At 14 something changed. He never knew what exactly the change was. He fell asleep after the storm and woke alone. Dad still wasn't back and Dean was asleep in dad's vacant bed. He never asks Dean what made him leave their bed. Dean never offered anything. When they reached the next rest stop, Dean stopped dad from ordering the usual one room, two beds. Dad got two rooms instead, one for him another with two beds for Dean and Sam to share. Dad never asked questions. Sam thinks sometimes Dean must have told him something.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N Here is another one I wasn't fond of chapter 8. I feel better about this one. I'm hard at work on my other fic Lego but I'm thinking hard about chapter ten which I think will be the last one so I'll try and make it long. Peace

Reviews bad or good always welcomed.

Sam jerked awake, left foot darted out and crashed into the wall. A dull pain worked it's way up his leg. For a moment he lay motionless tangled in the bed sheets, breath coming in sharp short gasps. He rolled on to his side squeezing his eye shut till the last of the nightmare vanished. The room was hot the heat rolled over him leaving him with a tight sweaty feel to his skin. He winces against the damp pillow. Sitting up he tug off the damp t-shirt. The room was empty. He left Dean at the bar flirting with the bartender. Sam wasn't sure if the bartender was even really a woman, with Dean it wouldn't matter.

Things where different between them. Had been different since Sara. Sara with her open smile and curious eyes. She was pretty in a startlingly open way. She made him smile, something he didn't do very often. Not anymore. Not unless Dean worked for it. He kicked the ugly brown wood floor with his bare foot. Dean was pulling away, spending too much time with someone who wasn't Sam. He shoved the sheet off his legs and tug off his jeans. Going to sleep in his clothes had been a stupid idea. It was getting dark and the temperature was still in the high 80's. The air conditioner in their room seem to have spent the last decade on the fizzed, it gave up it's aged ghost the night before last. There would be no relief tonight. Not for the heat, not from the heavy weight in his stomach or the stress in his balls. He shoved the pillow away from where it rest by his elbow, sending it over the edge of the bed. He sucked in two deep hot breaths of tight warm air. The heat always made things worst.

The door to the room bangs open. Dean strutted in smirk in place. Dean shirt was two sizes to small, his jeans one size to big, worn without a belt, it hung dangerously low on his hip exposing a train of smooth sun kissed skin. A winked in Sam direction, he tossed a roll of cash on his bed. Sam snorted and strips off his boxers. Resting both feet on the sticky warm wood floor he walks towards the bathroom. Dean followes close behind striping of tee shirt and jeans on the way there. He had no boxers to strip off.

Sam never understood what made the different between boxer days and commando days. It was always a surprises what was under Dean's jeans. When they had first started what ever it was they had, Sam thought if he could figure out what made Dean wear the boxer and what made him keep them off, he would have found a way of understanding Dean. It was one of a thousand things he still didn't understand about Dean.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Since I took like a year to add a new part I've decided to make this fic 12 parts instead of 10. So yeah there will be two more parts. There already written just need to be edited. Peace

The room is dark, the sheets are damp. The glass of water Sam left on the table by the bed before drifting off is hot. Sam rests the glass of water on the shaky table, forces himself to swallow the mouthful of warm water. The heat had risen steadily as he slept. The cool air the storm had brought the night before last had vanished, leaving the air hot musty. The room is almost hushed. The hum of the fan barely makes it to Sam's ears. The faint sound of music drifts in from the hall. Sam rolls on to his side trying to find a dry spot. He pulls the pillow over his head. Dean is in the shower again, he was putting the battered old radio that came with the rotting house to good use. It was blasting Kansas at a volume Sam was sure it shouldn't be able to reach with out shattering.

The music stops. The bathroom door bangs open, Dean swaggers into their bedroom naked, water trailing over his skin. He looks unnatural happy for such a disgustedly hot day. Sam gives him a dirty look, tosses a pillow at his head. Dean dodges out the way, smirking at Sam.

"I see you're up Sammy. Have a nice nap sweetheart."

Sam sits up, stretching just enough to release the tension in his sleep knotted muscles. He feels the pull of his short, damp against his legs. He hated the summer, hates it till winter comes blistering and cold and he longs for warmth. "Why did you let me sleep so long?" Sam's voice sounds sleep husky to his own ears.

Dean turns his back to him, digging around in his drawer for a pair of shorts. "You looked like you needed it." Dean yanks on a pair of boxer. "You hungry." His voice sound gruff.

Sam shakes his head. Dean snorts "Well you're going to eat anyway." He left the room. Sam drops back against his pillow already halfway back to sleep. The only way to deal with this kind of heat is to sleep through it.

He's awoken what feels like a moment later by something cold and wet resting against the back of his neck. He shifts, lifting his hand to swat the intruder away, his fingers come in contact with his naked skin he rolls on his side, opening one eye to see a smirking Dean ice cube in hand.

"What are you five fucking years old?"

Dean laughs. "Get up princess I brought you lunch in bed."

Sam glares but sits up. Dean places a tray with a large sandwich and a glass of juice on his lap, there's even a cookie tucked halfway under the sandwich. Sam looks up at Dean, a sharp look on his face. "What did you do?"

Dean gives him a guiltless look. "I just thought you could use some food. All you do lately is sleep and whine about the heat."

"It's hot and I'm tried."

Dean rolls his eyes, runs the ice cube over his lips. Sam looks away. "Stop bitching. Eat the food Sammy."

He's gone when Sam looks up. Halfway through his second bite, Kansas is playing again. Sam can hear the faint sound of running water. He finishes off the sandwich and juice, leaving the cookie in a napkin on the bed. He takes the tray back to the kitchen, dumps it in the sink. On his way to the bathroom he strips of his shorts, leaving them with Dean's pile of clothes behind the bathroom door.

He pushes back the shower curtain. Dean gives him a filthy smirk, reaches out wraps a hand around Sam forearm and pulls him forward. Sam stumbles into the tub. Dean drags him forward into a slow wet kiss shoving Sam against the wall. They are the same height now. In another month or so Sam will be the taller of the two. Dean's hand runs down the space between them, fingers linger over the spot on Sam's hip that makes his dick jump. Their being stupid, dad could be home any second. Doesn't stop Sam from tangling his fingers in Dean's hair and drag him back in for a deeper kiss, from arching into Dean's hand, letting Dean jerk him easy and slow, the cold water rushing down around them. Dean sucks hard on his collar bone. Sam reaches down and takes hold of Dean's flushed cock, he slides his fingers over the head before giving it a rough tug, Dean groans against Sam's neck. He likes it hard, rough almost bruising. Sam come first, Dean makes sure of it. Dean follows soon after, a fierce rough tug from Sam's hand and he spilling between Sam's long fingers. They rinse off. Dean gives Sam a sloppy kiss, a sharp smack on the ass. Sam rolls his eyes and shut off the water.

"I wasn't done."

Dean sounds annoyed. Sam gives him a sweet smile. "You're going to be prune if you spend anymore time in the water. Come back to the room, I saved you a cookie."

Dean pouts. Sam takes hold of his arm and drags him back to their room. They pull on shorts and sit on Sam's bed.

By the time John gets home, Dean is sitting up in Sam's bed munching on cookies, reading comics. Sam is half asleep watching Dean. John gives them a smile and tells them to get dress. There is a possible werewolf sighting in the next town over. Sam complains about the heat, Dean bounces off the bed, big smile, ready for a new hunt. John shakes his head, a faint smile on his face. He ignores Sam's complaints and leaves them to dress. Sam lies for a few moments watching Dean dress. He knows he'll have to get up and dress soon. For right this moment its fine to lie there, hot and hazy watching Dean check out his butt in the mirror.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N this is one of those that I'm not happy with but I'm trying to get this fic done so here it is. One more post and this is over.

Hospital beds have been a part of Sam's life since birth. He was born in one of the many beds of Lawrence Memorial hospital in Kansas. His mother spent 16 hour in that bed before he entered the world the way most children do, screaming and red. He doesn't remember this. After the fire, John never took them to the hospital unless it was something he couldn't take care of at home. When it was bad enough for a hospital visit, John always got them in and out of the emergency room as fast as possible, no over night stays.

The first hospital bed Sam remembers was in Blue Earth Minnesota. He was all of 6 years. A vengeful old ghost set into John, Cable had to drag him to the hospital. After the nurses drugged John up on the good stuff, Cable called father Jim to go pick up Dean and Sam.

Father Jim went round and collected the boys from the motel and drove them over to the hospital. It was late, the head nurse didn't want to let them in. Dean bated his long lashes and sniffled, he pinched Sam's arm till Sam cried. The head nurse caved and escorted them to the room. Dad looked broke in a way Sam had never seen him look. He crawled into the bed and cried for an hour curled against his dad side. When Sam awoke he was back in the motel room, Dean curled around him Father Jim asleep in the chair next to the bed.

Sam at 22 was use to hospital beds. He had never lost anyone in a hospital. There where darker things to be found under motel beds. Hospitals were nothing to be scared of just a pit stop before heading for home. At times they could be seen as a vacation. Hospitals were a part of the job. You got hurt in this game and sometime the first aid kit didn't cut it. Sam always figured if any of them, John, Dean, himself, were to die on the job it would be instant not locked up in an over bright hospital. He figured he'd never live long enough to make it to the hospital so there was no fear to be found in the sterile white halls, the smell of clean fluids, the sight of an IV cord. Winchesters were strong, they could take anything you hurled their way, the bigger the odds stacked against them, the more likely there where to beat them. Sam always assumed the fact that you made it to the hospital was half the battle. Hurt like the hunt was half mind over matter.

The first time Sam feared a hospital bed, Dean was laying in it, face as pale as he'd ever seen it making jokes about the fucking snuggle fabric softener bear. His brother was dyeing.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N This is it the last part of _Bed_. It's been on my computer forever and a day. I'm not sure it feels finished but I give up. So here it is. Enjoy. Reviews good and bad welcomed. Peace

Bed 12

Sam snuggled down under the thick comforter. The room was brittle cold. A hard wind had blow in a few hours after sunset it had yet to let up. The wind whipped at the trees sending the branches crashing against the second story window. The small house trembles under the assault. He shifts just a bit trying to get comfortable with out jarring his leg. He winced as sharp pain worked it's way from ankle to hip. He'd been awake for all of 10 minutes and was already trying to figure out the best way to go about getting up. A glances at the clock told him it was 20 after midnight. Dean had been gone for over 5 hours. The glass of water he left on the nightstand next to the pile of Sam's books was finished. The room was cold and Sam was worried. His cell phone had fallen to the floor while he slept. He should have remembered to move it to the nightstand before falling asleep. The cell phone light blinked, winking up at Sam for it's position on the floor. If he could just twist his top half off the bed with out jarring his leg he might be able to reach it.

The bedroom door opened, Dean stood silhouette in the doorway backlit by the dim hall light. He reached out flipped on the bedroom light. Sam got a good look at him he was dirty but whole. He gave Sam a tired smile.

"You okay there princess."

"I'm fine Dean. Go take a shower I can smell your stink from here."

Dean gave him a smile, "as you wish princess."

Sam snorted, Dean tossed his bag into the room he yanked his shirt over his head tossed it on the floor, starting in on his jeans he turned on his heels and headed down the hall to the bathroom. The last few years had been good to Dean. The lines around his eyes were deeper the look in his gaze more hunted but he was still strong, still quick enough, fit enough to get a job done on his own. Sam tried to lift himself into a sitting position the pull in his leg stopped him he gave up after the second shot of pain and lay back against the pillow, breathing listening to the hum of the shower, He sent up a pray to a God he still sometimes believed in for bringing Dean back in one function piece. He tried to stretch and failed he lay still and listened to he creak of the old wood floors as Dean made his way back to the room. Dean came to stand just inside the room, a knife in his hand a towel around his waist. He ran his hands over his arms. "It's fucking freezing in this place."

"The heater gave out a while go. Put on some clothes and come to bed"

Dean gave an absent nod dropped the knife on the dresser, he dug around for pj bottoms and a t-shirt. He shut and locked the bedroom door flipped off the light. He made his way in the dark across the crowded room with out bumping into anything. Having a familiar place to call home had it benefits. He lean down picked up Sam's phone and dropped it next to the empty water glass. Dean slide under the covers giving his pillow a firm yank in his direction, lying down, stretching he ran a cold foot against Sam's shin. Sam yelped a sound he would deny making and smacked Dean's stomach. Dean laughed batting Sam's hands away he rolled onto his side, closer to Sam, he rested one long leg over Sam's legs, tossed an arm across Sam's chest. Sam shifted just that bit, rested his head in the spot under Dean's chin. The was a dull ache in his leg.

"How's your leg." Dean's voice sounded ruff and tired."

"It's fine how was the hunt."

"I won."

Sam laughed, blowing a warm breath of air against Dean's neck. "I can see that."

Dean kissed the top of his head. Sam felt himself drifting back to sleep. He hates this the blurred feeling of sleepiness the pain killer brought. The foggy awareness is better then the sharp constant pain. He missed Dean hadn't talked to him in what feels like days. Too busy sleeping to do anything more than grunt short answers in his general direction. He hears Dean's laughter low and calming in his ear and realized he'd been speaking out loud. "I'm right here Sammy go on to sleep we'll talk for hours in the morning."

Sam sniffled tucked his nose against Dean's neck. Dean shifted away. "Your nose is fucking cold."

Sammy wiggled a bit closer tucked his nose in the hallow of warm skin. "Your feet are shit ass cold."

Dean laughed and rubbed his foot against Sam's shin. Sam smiled against Dean's clean smelling skin and drifted.


End file.
